Best in Bow: Skincare
Will be totally legit: this post is something I'd been frantically wishing I could have posted months ago. Although I'd always had pretty decent skin, it decided to have a little battle with me last spring. Ever since then, I'd been having a disheartening struggle to get my skin back (rather unsuccessfully). Expensive facials, skincare products, Retin-A prescriptions... I tried it all, and my skin still wasn't back to normal. I just couldn't get it right. Once I finally had clear skin, it would freak out within days. Retin-A worked, but my sensitive skin wouldn't stop peeling.
I actually went to the dermatologist at the beginning of December, completely frustrated and willing to go on Accutane as a last-ditch attempt. As you probably know, Accutane is an intense medication (taken orally) that has the potential for very severe side effects. Most people end up with clear skin at the end of the 3-5 month treatment, but you have to go through some tough stuff to get there. My derm warned me of flaky skin, achy joints, blistered lips, bloody noses, and the potential for suicidal thoughts. You must also have bloodwork done every 3-4 weeks, as well as a monthly office visit. Sounds like fun, right? Er, not so much. I didn't know if I'd have the time (or patience) to deal with a regimen that was so rigorous and potentially dangerous, but to be totally honest, I was so desperate that I was willing to go through with it. I signed the iPledge program papers, went to the lab for bloodwork, went to my second derm appointment, and finally was given my prescription. I was then told I had to take an online test to pick up my prescription from the pharmacy. Clearly, Accutane isn't something they mess around with.
During this time, I also decided to try my own new skincare regimen (knowing it would take a minimum of 30+ days to complete the steps to get the Accutane prescription). With the exception of Josie Maran's Argan Oil (which I added a few weeks ago), I've been using all of the above products religiously for two months... and much to my surprise, it actually worked. I couldn't be happier with the results- my skin hasn't been this clear or soft in a year! I've been so happy, in fact, that after getting the Accutane prescription from my derm several weeks ago, I decided NOT to go ahead with it. I was a little wary of using it anyway (I hate taking medication in general, unless it's absolutely necessary), so I feel very much at peace with my decision. I have my skin back, and it's been in a way that I feel comfortable with.
Obviously, everybody's skin is distinctive, and what works for me won't not work for you. I think it's really a matter of trial and error, and learning exactly what your skin needs. I have very sensitive skin that reacts easily to harsh products, so I'm learning to stick with gentle products with minimal ingredients. I used to overtreat my skin, but now I'm realizing my skin needs to be babied to minimize irritation. I only use my Clarisonic skin brush once or twice a week, and I scrub as gently as possible when using Bobbi Brown's buffing grains every few days.
In addition to the products shown above, I also take my GNC Be Beautiful Vita-Pak daily, in addition to two multivitamins (GNC's Be Whole with Iron). The Be Beautiful pak provides vitamins that are particularly beneficial to the skin (biotin, amino acids, collagen, primrose oil, etc). I've also been religious about my water intake, drinking 80-100 oz. daily. I almost always have my CamelBak water bottle with me wherever I go, which makes it easier to keep up with my intake.
What I Know for Certain...
I'm a big believer that people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. After numerous conversations with a few wise people, it's become clear that life never pans out the way that we think it will. We are lead in directions that don't always make sense, and sometimes we find ourselves in places that we never intended. This doesn't mean we don't ultimately end up where we want to be, but I think it's safe to say that there's a definite journey in getting to that point.
My first reaction is to make sense of it all. What did I learn from this? How can I grow? Maybe it's how I protect myself from pain, or perhaps it's because I have no other choice. For whatever reason, I try to make sense by attributing it to experience, personal growth, and a path to something greater. I truly believe everything happens for a reason, but hindsight takes time. And hell, it certainly doesn't take away the pain you feel at that very moment.
Quite often, I hear that I have it all and that the world is in my hands. But you know what? I've worked really, really hard to become the person I am today- and my journey is far from over. Life isn't easy. Life is fluid; the only constant is that it is ever-changing. It doesn't matter if you live in a big house or people consider you beautiful, nor does it matter if you have the man of your dreams relentlessly chasing after you. Loss is a continuous theme in my life, so no matter how grateful I was, I always feared that the rug was about to be pulled from under me. That isn't any way to live.
Someone recently helped me re-evaluate my own life, which helped me better identify what I want AND deserve. When someone asks me if I'm happy, I don't want to hesitate for one second. When someone asks me if I'm in love, I want my answer to be "yes" without a beat. More importantly, I want my actions to demonstrate my words. Career, love, family... I want to create a life that radiates love, goodness, fearlessness. There is something to be said about having grace under pressure, something Hemingway ultimately attributed to courage. That's what I hope my legacy will be someday.
I could be angry or fearful because of the loss I've experienced. I'm not. Instead, I've chosen to be grateful... for each and every lesson brings me one step closer to where I need to be.
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